Submissiveness
I don’t like people much, let alone trust them or respect them enough to kneel down and bow my head in submission to them. This was a problem with Skyfire as well, when we were together. I loved him, I liked him a lot, but I didn’t find myself able to put him up on the pedestal that I need a Dominant to be on in order to submit to them. Pedestals are tricky anyway. Before you know it, that person that you so carefully modeled on it falls off and breaks their flawless surface.
Over the years I have found myself craving for a beating on occasion. But I’m also very particular about how I prefer to have that beating carried out. I have demands and if those aren’t met, I won’t play. BDSM is not a way of life for me any longer and it doesn’t occupy every dreaming moment of my mind anymore. I will never be vanilla though, I can’t stand the thought of loving, soft, cuddly sex alone. I need it to spark, to sting and to bite.
And so I think I’ll be giving up on submissiveness. Maybe permanently, but I can’t see into the future. It sounds more drastic than it really is. It doesn’t make me emotional, it doesn’t really make me feel anything. It’s just something that popped into my head while I was taking a shower. I’m not really a submissive type of person anymore I guess. Or at least, not right now. And who knows… maybe someone will prove me wrong in time, but my cynicism kind of prevents me from believing that. It would take one hell of a person to not only put themselves on my pedestal, but to be able to stay on it as well. And until then, I’ll just enjoy the occasional beating.
Brown with nine tails
I always loved a cat-o-nine. I have no idea why, but just hearing the name made me always want to have one. I actually was looking for a brown/black one when I was showed a totally different color and type then I actually was looking for. The thing is: I love it!
Love continued
I like to tell my love that I love her. Quite often even 
Every time I do so I ask myself if I just say it, or if I really mean it. And every time I mean it deep from my heart. She’s here to stay… This feeling is so comforting that it puts a smile on my face every time again…
I’m saying it again: I <3 you 
Damage Inc.
While deep-throating my Femme I got a bit over enthusiastic and managed to get a nice deep dark blue bruise on my cock.
“That’s not how it’s supposed to be! I’m the one that should be bruised and battered here” she said.
Don’t you just love her? Yes, sometimes things don’t go entirely as planned
Love
Love is a beautiful thing. I love a sunny afternoon walk, fresh croissants on a Sunday morning. I love walking hand in hand across the street. Love is a wonderful thing that captures your heart with all it’s beauty, all it’s aspects. Despite that I love many things, loving someone though is different.
My kink
It’s kinda funny. I realized yesterday that I very seldomly refer to my preferences as BDSM anymore. I normally tend to call it my kink nowadays. I’m not entirely sure why that is, but it might be because I look at it as something personal rather than something other people relate to as well. It’s MY kink, regardless of whether or not others share my preferences.
Lenny says it best
“So I put away the fright
Now I’m gonna live my life
Giving you the most in every way”
Fear
This relationship hasn’t been like anything I’m used to. Over the past few years I’ve known myself to fall head over heels in love with someone, then get bored of the relationship soon after. Burn fiercely until it burns out, that’s my style. This time I’ve been wary of what was developing between Skyfire and me, but more so of what has been developing in my heart. I was scared whenever I felt the actual feelings I was starting to feel for him, withdrew as soon as I felt them and threw up almost impenetrable barriers between him and me whenever he took an obvious next step towards me. read more…
Toy Store
I felt like a kid in a candy store: So many nice whips! A few weeks ago Femme herself already came with the idea she would like to see me with a cane and eventually I made her get one at a local gardening store (and as surprise, she got me two!) Up till then there hadn’t been a real opportunity to try them out and I wanted to have something more substantial. read more…
Hair
Femme has lovely hair. Luscious is the right word. Luscious, sexy, head turning hair. More then shoulder long it flows around her, accentuating her face, her lovely dark brown eyes. I like playing with her hair. Fondle it, stroke it, run my fingers through it, or: just hold it. read more…
